So we’ve been home since Thursday morning and I haven’t quite adjusted to my new lifestyle yet. The last week in Maui began with me rupturing my eardrum on a diving trip. It was quite the Christmas present to myself. Upon visiting the Urgent Care that evening I discovered that all water activities were out for the rest of the trip and beyond. I couldn’t risk allowing any water to get past my broken eardrum; even in the shower. That bit of news broke my heart a little. I had never gotten a chance to get out into the surf on the trip so far, and, it was clear there would be no chance on this trip at all. Then, to boot, the rains came. For a solid three days it alternated between rain and downpours. In a way it was a good reason to stay home and let my ear heal, but I couldn’t help feeling a little down about not exploring more. It did finally let up and we took an awesome drive to Hana, celebrated New Year’s Eve in style, and took a few last trips to the beach to relax and let the dogs play.
The final day was the hardest. I honestly thought it would be easy to leave. I had a brand new life waiting for me at home, sans job and all. But I never thought the living would be *that* good on Maui. Having a beautiful home that felt like our own. Having two big dogs to hang out with every day. Eating delicious food and enjoying sunsets from our patio nearly every day. Damn, it was good. But all good things come to end, even if only temporarily. We said our goodbyes, had our cries, and solemnly flew through the night back to LA.
I must be spending too much time in tropical places lately because LA felt downright freezing when we arrived. It was probably 50 degrees out, but it felt like 15! Then stopping at the supermarket to pick up some supplies and it’s freezing in there too. Damn, why doesn’t anyone else notice!? And why is everyone in such a fucking rush!? Geez folks, it’s only life. You could let me merge into the road here. You could offer a smile at the checkout counter. You could say ‘excuse me’ after bumping into me. Damn Maui; how badly you’ve spoiled me.
I’ve been feeling like I need to be super productive since I’ve gotten back. Why haven’t I worked on my pictures more? Why haven’t I written another blog post? Why haven’t I made more art? All these have-to’s were getting me down and I couldn’t shake the feeling. It really hit me just how bad I was getting when Raquel and I went for a bike ride yesterday. The Venice to Santa Monica section of the bike path was as crowded as you’d expect it to be on a Sunday afternoon and I was miffed. We were moving at a snails pace and I just couldn’t take it. Raquel, being the angel that she is, stopped at the Waterfront Cafe and asked if I wanted to have a beer and fries. I answered a gruff ‘Yes’ and she found us a spot to sit. Just the way she was looking at me told me how distant I was at the moment. Why was I having such a hard time appreciating the moment!? Why wasn’t I able to let it go and just give myself the time to adjust and enjoy!?
The beer, the fries, the warm SoCal sun, and the conversation with my love helped me crack the case. I had to stop inventing all these rules. I’m just re-creating a ‘work’ environment with schedules, edicts and To-Do lists because that’s all I’ve ever known. There’s no way I’m going to get inspired by a To-Do list. I need to step back and just do whatever feels right at the moment. I’ve got to give myself the time, the space, and the distraction free environment to ‘Find my Bliss’! Thankfully the evening ended on a high note and I went to sleep with a big smile on my face. I think I’ll find my groove after all.